When their daughter Lisa was in daycare, providers didn't report problems with behavior. It wasn't until she entered Headstart that teachers began noticing problems in behavior and learning. Lisa repeated kindergarten twice. When she entered first grade, Lisa was diagnosed with ADHD and put on medications to control it.
Lisa, who is now 14, is doing better in school and has many friends who care about her. She said she doesn't like taking her medication, but knows it will help her. However, the medications she's on make her tired, she said, and certain ones taste bad. The side effects deter her from wanting to take them.
 From left, Lisa, Carol, Chris and Dale Anderson pose for their most recent family Christmas photo. photo submitted Advertisement |
"Even though it's tough, they have to do everything as everyone else," Carol said.
Both Lisa and her brother Chris, 10, have had help in school through aids or paraprofessionals. Lisa had less help than Chris, who has one with him each day. Lisa is currently in an Individual Educational Plan, which is a modified plan to help her keep up with the grade level she's in.
Two children with ADHD are difficult to handle. Not only is it hard for Lisa and Chris to concentrate and work in school, but it is difficult for their parents to take them places. Many times, while grocery shopping, Chris causes trouble, whether it is yelling or acting out.
Chris is diagnosed with ADHD but also is diagnosed with oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).
Chris's problems were more prevalent than Lisa's. He had health issues when he was born, such as paralized vocal cords, a heart murmur and when he ate, the food went into his lungs. At 6 months, he was attached to a heart monitor, had medication for reflux and had ear infections. By 1 year, Chris was still not walking and his parents found out he had a high threshold for pain, which caused most of his problems because his parents couldn't tell he was in pain.
Chris also repeated kindergarten twice but had more behavioral problems than his sister. He has spent time at the Stadter Center in Grand Forks, Prairie St. John's in Fargo and foster homes to help settle his behavior.
"He was a danger to himself and others," Carol said. Not only would he use physical violence against Carol, like hitting, biting and kicking, but he has gone after her with weapons. "He's told me he's wanted me dead," she said.
Many times, Carol, who was a stay at home mom, feared schools and places such as the Stadter Center thought she was exaggerating about Chris's behavior. However, when he attended the McKinley School in Fergus Falls, Minn., they had a special “quiet room” where students were sent to calm down and have to be quiet for two minutes. Chris could not be quiet. He was in the room for three or four hours. He hit, bit and kicked those in the room with him.
Though Carol was not happy about his behavior, she was relieved someone else had seen it to prove she was not exaggerating.
After trying out several schools, Chris is now at Campbell-Tintah School and doing well. He has voluntarily been in therapeutic foster care since December 2007 with a family in the Campbell-Tintah District and stays with his parents on weekends in Breckenridge. Carol and Dale had tried respite care through the years to help alleviate some of the pressure of raising children with mental health issues, but respite care only gives temporary relief.
Although Lisa is not as temperamental as Chris, she does have problems with authority at home. She doesn't like to listen to her parents and now that she is a teenager, hormones are working overtime to aggravate the situation.
Right now, Dale is on rotating shifts at Minn-Dak Farmers Cooperative in Wahpeton so he has less time at home due to his differing schedule. Carol, however, works during the day cleaning at St. Mary's School and as a cook's helper at Wahpeton Middle School. Both spend as much time as possible with their children.
Through all the problems, the Andersons took classes to try to understand what their children were going through, how to deal with their problems and work through tougher times. "We've tried everything — rage, bipolar, homeopathic therapy — we've worked so hard and get nothing," Carol said. "But we never let problems stop us. We do all kinds of things (with our children) like 4-H (day camp) in Breckenridge... and they love the Redhawks."
The Andersons work hard to live their lives as normal as possible. When they go grocery shopping and Chris or Lisa throw a fit, they don't always leave the store. "There are people who know, and people who don't know (the situation)," Dale said.
In getting the word out about mental health issues, both Carol and Dale agree it's something that can't be ignored. Many people just want to dismiss the issue, but it is real.
"It's something you can't push under the rug," Dale said. "It's a part of life. It's not gonna go away."
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