The Daily News

Funerals need a special touch, which Doug Peterson provided in Wahpeton for almost 30 years

by Anna Jauhola • Daily News

Doug Peterson grew up around the funeral home business as his father, Hub, was a funeral director in Valley City, N.D. He watched his father, brother and uncle organize funerals for several years before he entered college for his teaching degree.

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"I taught in Eckelson (N.D.) and then I taught at Finley," Peterson said. "And when I was at Eckelson I told them the only way they'll ever get rid of me if they close the school. And by God, two years later, they did."

Peterson taught business, North Dakota history, typing and phy ed, along with coaching basketball, baseball, football, wrestling and track. He taught for five years.

While getting his teeth cleaned in Valley City shortly before he left for mortuary school, Peterson met his future wife, Judy. He told her, before she could clean his teeth, she had to give him her phone number and address so they could go out.

"She said, 'I don't even know you,'" he said. "She had 50 minutes to clean my teeth. She finally said, 'Well, OK.' I said, 'Well now you have to be sure to give me the right address and telephone number.'"

They went out that evening, and the next day Peterson left for mortuary science school in Indianapolis, Ind.

From 1972-73, to pass the boards, Peterson held an apprenticeship at Shirley Brothers Funeral Home in Indianapolis. Between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day in 1972, Peterson, five other students and a head mortician received 25 people in two hours. The number of calls they received was not the most memorable. What happened after the group went to bed Peterson will never forget.

"I went to bed about 10:00 at night," he said. "At about 2:00 in the morning, the head embalmer... came into our room where the six of us were, and he puts his hand over my mouth, and says, 'Shhh.... somebody's out there.'"

Although the head embalmer was a second degree black belt in Karate, he insisted Peterson lead the way to the preparation room where they heard someone making noise. So all seven men made their way down a dark hallway to the preparation room, flipped on the lights and found an intruder fumbling his way in the dark.

"He had no idea what he was into, he no idea where he was at," Peterson said. "His knees hit his chin so fast that you couldn't even imagine. He was in the fetal position. He absolutely froze."

The group picked him up in the fetal position, took him outside where he finally came to and "did the 100 yard dash in about six seconds."

After he passed his boards, Peterson used his connections and interned at what is now Vertin-Munson Funeral Home in Wahpeton. His uncle, Arvin, used to work there and knew Bun Munson who owned the funeral home. Peterson trained under Munson and in 1973 he received his mortuary license. In 1974, after a year of training, he received his Minnesota license by reciprocity.

It was in Wahpeton that Peterson and Judy would again meet on a double date through a mutual friend. Judy had lived in Wahpeton while teaching at North Dakota State College of Science for a few years and knew Peterson was in town, but didn't say anything, he said, laughing. They ended up enjoying the double date and each other's company so much that they got married soon after.

From 1977-1986, he and Judy lived in Morris, Minn., to run Peterson-Olson Funeral Home and furniture store. When the opportunity came up to be a funeral director at Vertin-Munson Funeral Home in 1986, Peterson was happy to come back. It was also an opportunity for Judy to start teaching at NDSCS again, where she is still teaching dental hygiene.

For almost 30 years, Peterson served the families of the Wahpeton-Breckenridge and surrounding areas in their time of need and suffering. He has been patient and kind, paying close attention to what families wanted for their loved ones.

Although he retired from Vertin-Munson Dec. 31, 2009, he is still on contract with them part-time. He said getting to know the families, people in the community, those who work behind the scenes and others have made the job more than worthwhile.

"You figure you have to keep your cool," he said. "You had to... find out what the family wants. You don't want to make it so every (funeral is) the same. Every family is very distinct."

One particular fond memory Peterson holds close involved a family whose mother died in 1974. Usually, a police escort would lead the funeral procession to the cemetery. However, the police were not available that day so Peterson drove the hearse at the head of the procession.

He took a wrong turn at 11th Street, going north to Calvary Cemetery.

"Just then it hit me, 'Uff da! Burial was at Fairview Memorial Gardens," he said. "Well I couldn't turn the coach around so of course from then on... the horns were honking, the people were out, (saying) 'You're going the wrong way!'"

Peterson said he was embarrassed and afraid the family would be angry with him, but he couldn't turn the hearse around until the Pamida parking lot. The instant they pulled into the parking lot, the horns stopped and the procession was quiet until they got to Fairview. After everyone parked, Peterson received a big surprise.

"They just start running toward me...," Peterson said. "And they put their arms around me and they said, 'How did you know our mother liked to go to Pamida? That was the best ride you could ever have given. That was her favorite place to shop.’"

Peterson rolled with the situation and thanked heaven the family wasn't mad.

Although incidents at some funerals can bring such joy as that one, Peterson always had a hard time with funerals for young people, babies in particular. He said the grief and heartache mothers went through was difficult. But, keeping their needs and wants in mind is what helped him through.

"You just try to make it special," he said. "You become so emotionally attached to the families because you work so close with them."

Peterson isn't done serving grieving families in the area. He will continue part time at Vertin-Munson when he's needed. But in the mean time, he plans to continue riding motorcycle with the Roughrider Motorcycle Club in Wahpeton. He is also involved in El Zagal Shriners and Kiwanis Club. He hopes to get back into bowling and golf, may do some fishing and of course start to complete Judy's "honey-do" list.

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